This is a continuation of a previous post

11. Take Blame.  Give Praise.  Author Jim Collins shared that great leaders “Look in a mirror when there’s a problem and look out a window when there’s success.”  Give praise.  Congratulate and thank in writing.  When someone’s had success, ask them how they did it.  They can relive their glory for a few minutes.  If a problem happens, own your part.  If a problem happens with someone on your team and you’re dealing with your client or end customer, take responsibility.
12. Shoot for a career not a job.  Know your business, your industry, and your profession.  When it comes to your firm, know the stock price, leadership changes, new products, and news.  When it comes to your industry and profession, read, understand trends, stay current. 
13. Act the way you want others to act.  Attitudes are contagious.  People cannot control your emotions – only you can.  If you are upset and not sure if you should say something – don’t.  Rarely will people think you acted unprofessionally if you say little or nothing.  Don’t accept a “gift” of anger.  In line with controlling your emotions, don’t respond in kind when someone is angry.  By not accepting their gift of anger – it remains with them.
14. When there are problems, think and speak solutions.  If the focus is on me, my hurt feelings, what happened in the past, gossip etc., time ticks away as laundry lists of bad feelings build and emotions boil.  Meanwhile, the solution is still waiting to be discovered.  Engage in direct communication.  Venting to a third party doesn’t change any situation and can disrupt office harmony.  Address concerns, criticisms and wants to the appropriate members (those who have the power to make changes to policy or guidelines) of the company.  Use I statements.  I statements make our thoughts clear to our listeners.   You statements imply blame.  Don’t take it upon yourself to represent the concerns of coworkers.  Each employee is responsible for stating his/her own concerns and suggestions.
15. Lead up… When you bring your manager a question or a problem, bring along a few possible solutions.  Be ready to tell your manager which solution you think is best and why.  Don’t use the manager’s time to think through the problem if this is something you could do beforehand.  Prepare your manager for bad news early.  This allows your manager time to help you, defend you, or prepare other parties for what is to come.  Once you’ve owned and defined the problem, cut to the quick in finding a solution.
16. Seek to understand before you seek to be understood.
17. Adversity reveals not builds character.  It shows others how we are “wired” at our core.  Leadership at your firm and your end customer will reward and remember you behaving with character and being committed to solving the problem.  “I don’t know” is okay, especially when teamed with “I’ll find out.”  This is much safer than bluffing.  It shows you are honest and you are not panicking in the face of a challenge.  If you follow up with an answer quickly, it shows you are responsive.
18. Understand negotiation.  More successful negotiations occur over lunch, dinner and in the hallway after hours than occur at a conference table with one side pitted against another.  Reaching agreement requires trust.  Trust doesn’t get built without work and understanding.  Invest in the relationship and get to know the person with whom you will be working.
19. Understand the human condition... 
    • “You never get a second chance to make a first impression” isn’t correct.  Data shows we remember the finish more than the start.  Finish strong.  
    • If you have bad news, give a choice.  Giving a choice, even if it’s between two bad scenarios, makes the receiver of your news feel like they have some control.  Having control in a situation creates less stress. 
    • Extend Wins, Cut Losses.  In a study, participants were given a choice.  They could win $5 twice or win $10 once.  Most choice to win $5 twice.  In this same study, participants were given a choice to lose $5 twice or lose $10 once.  Most chose to lose $10 once.  When dealing with others, if good news arises, share it as it comes.  If you have bad news, it’s better to unveil it all at once.
20. Focus your mind on what you want.  The multi-billion dollar success industry is best summed up by one of the early pioneers, Earle Nightingale.  He said, “We become what we think about.”