Giving praise feels great, but not all feedback can be positive. Sometimes we need to let someone know there’s a problem. But before you jump to conclusions about a difficult situation, take time to ask questions and listen. Stephen Covey advises in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to “seek first to be understand, then be understood.” In other words, get the employee’s perspective on the situation before launching into a discussion of what needs to change.

By asking questions your perception of the situation could change. If the employee did drop the ball, he probably will be much harder on himself than you could ever be. Don’t let a conscientious employee go on too long with the floggings and ashes. Quickly move the conversation to solutions and critical next steps.

Tom’s Takeaway: Don’t shy away from difficult conversations when there’s a problem. Before you make assumptions, take the time to hear the employee’s side of the story. If there is a problem, focus quickly on solutions and next steps.